Youths See All Parental Control Negatively When There's A Lot Of It
A new study has found that young people feel differently about two types of parental control, generally viewing a type of control that's thought to be better for their development more positively. However, when parents are very controlling, young people no longer make this distinction and view both types of parental control negatively.
The study, conducted in the United States by researchers at Orebro University in Sweden, appears in the November/December 2009 issue of the journal Child Development. Unlike a lot of prior research on parenting that's focused on control, this study looked at how adolescents view and react to parental control.
Scholars tell us that parental control falls into two categories: behavioral control (when parents help their children regulate themselves and feel competent by providing supervision, setting limits, and establishing rules) and psychological control (when parents are manipulative in their behavior, often resulting in feelings of guilt, rejection, or not being loved). It's thought that behavioral control is better for youngsters' development.
But the study, which asked 67 American children (7th and 8th graders, as well as 10th and 11th graders) to respond to hypothetical scenarios involving both kinds of control, found that the youths put a negative spin on both types of control when the parents in the scenarios exercised a lot of control. Specifically, when parents showed moderate levels of control, they saw psychological control more negatively than behavioral control, but when parents were very controlling, they viewed both types of control negatively.
Specifically, the youths interpreted high levels of control as intrusive and as indicating that they mattered less as individuals. Intrusiveness is a hallmark of psychological control, according to the researchers, and both high levels of psychological control and feeling that you don't matter have been linked to poorer adjustment.
"Under some conditions, such as when personal choice is restricted, adolescents view behavioral control as negatively as psychological control," according to the researchers. "Such negative interpretations may mean that adolescents would respond as poorly to highly restrictive behavioral control as they do to psychological control."
Summarized from Child Development, Vol. 80, Issue 6, Adolescents' Interpretations of Parental Control: Differentiated by Domain and Types of Control by Kakihara, F, and Tilton-Weaver, L (Orebro University). Copyright 2009 The Society for Research in Child Development, Inc. All rights reserved.
Source: Sarah Hutcheon
Society for Research in Child Development
Saturday, 12 June 2010
Monday, 19 April 2010
Book giveaway
Every so often a book comes along and it is one you know will change the game.
David Wood, a well known and successful Life Coach, has launched a new book with an amazing offer to give it away free. He asks for a small donation to Save the Rainforests, but that is entirely optional. I thought beforehand, well here we go, another load of rehashed platitudes about positive attitudes and making money. But, as it was for charity, I decided to give it a chance.
Well, it is excellent value, and possibly one of the top ten ebooks I have ever read and that is saying something. I read it quickly all the way through. It is more than a book to read, it is a map of a whole new territory. It makes sense of the bigger picture. As in any revolution, the internet has made a comparatively few people very rich indeed. But it has also allowed more people to come across ideas that shift our consciousness.
This book highlights different sorts of values. Money can allow for those sorts of freedom. Location for example, and time, so that you don’t have to work the 9-5 and do the commute. But more than that, David puts his finger on the fact that just some extra income can make a significant difference. He encourages people to value themselves, their life experiences and well as their skills.
It makes sense. After all, we know that a Unique Selling Point makes a difference. What is really unique is not the bones of a product or service, but the alchemy between the person creating or providing the product....and the product or service itself. When that alchemy is real, we know it and we see the value. When it is fake or contrived, it is just a gimmick.
In Jesus’ day, people asked Him, who gave you authority? Today they might ask, what seminary did you go to? What degrees do you have? Show us your credentials!
But the truth of the matter is that authentic, vibrant Life is not a matter of being a member of this or that elite group, or having studied for years, although of course sometimes those things are useful and necessary. They don’t make a person a great person, and you can fulfil your destiny even without the letters after your name or the published journals.
This book is about creating an authentic, vibrant life based on who you really are and what you have experienced in your life so far. I heartily recommend it “Get Paid For Who You Are, ” especially if you have that sneaking feeling that you still have not expressed your real gifts or fulfilled your true destiny.Anyone would find it useful and particularly those who want to offer a service, such as coaching or counselling.
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
Understand How Incredible Your Own Mind Power Is
Your mind is an incredibly powerful thing, and it's actually a magnet to things that happen in your life. What you think and see is eventually what you're going to attract. The Law of Attraction deals with this, specifically the power of your own mind. Basically, the Law of Attraction says that, 'As you think, so shall you be.' In other words, if you think something is going to happen to you, eventually it probably will. You can make that work in your favor, because you can change your mind to the positive -- but you have to think, envision, feel, literally embody it before it can happen. It's going to take some practice to do this, likely, but that's true of anything you're going to get good at. Once you know how to use it, though, you'll see that the power of your mind is just astonishing.
And by the way, this is something that we all have. We all have the ability to use our mind's power to the best of our ability and outcomes. However, most of us don't because we just don't think we can. Yet, researchers have shown that we only use about 10% of our brainpower. Don't you think that's crazy? Most of us stick with the tried and true, things we only know, and that's what we live with. And that may be why we feel like we're having a lot of trouble. We may think negatively because we don't believe that what we want to have can actually be ours. So what that means is that we continue to attract more negative things instead of more positive things. However, if you take a look at it honestly, you'll know that the life you have in front of you is the one you've thought about and attracted to you.
But here's the simple truth. Reality first happens within your mind. Everything you've gotten to this point has been as a result of how you think. And while it's been said that everyone has some extra sensory skill or power, or that they are 'psychic,' in fact, these people really only practice an ability we have, too, which is using their advanced mind power capabilities. If you want something in life, you have to think that you can have it. And of course, if you think only the bad is going to happen, then that's what you'll end up with, too.
I can hear you asking, 'But what can I do to change things?' And the fact is, you can begin to increase your mind's power by doing several things. First of all, do something called visualization. This very powerful technique can help you focus and develop your current mind power state, so that you can literally 'flip the switch' and learn how to use it -- and learn how to increase it, too.
When you visualize, simply sit down and create pictures and images in your mind's eye. This can help you a manifest these images in reality. First, though, you have to start with your subconscious. The subconscious mind is the most powerful tool you have, and bring what is in your subconscious mind into reality the way nothing else can. However, the drawback to this is that you have to think positive in order to have positive things come to you. Therefore, it's best to 'practice' the way that you want to think and live before you actually try to do this.
One good way to start doing this is to write down everything you want on paper, as though you were telling a story (or if you can't write, doing it as a checklist can be fine, too). Write down the goals you want to achieve, so that you have something to shoot for. Then, create the visions you have around those goals. When you write things down, they're harder to simply dismiss later as so much fantasy and instead become more concrete. Do this several times a day until you begin to 'live' in the reality you eventually want to have -- in your mind's eye.
You can also use affirmations to increase your mind power. Affirmations are simply little, encouraging positive sayings that you can save yourself throughout the day. It can be about anything. For example, if you want to lose 10 pounds, you can say something to the effect of, 'I'm losing the extra weight effortlessly and easily.' As you continue to say this, you may notice that truly, the weight is actually coming off pretty easily. It'll just naturally start to happen. And it doesn't matter if it's something you're not used to it first. If you do it for 28 days, you'll notice that it'll start to become a habit.
There's also another technique you can use to develop your mind's power, called 'entrainment.' Entrainment is simply synchronization of brain waves using different frequencies through audio technology. Our brains are naturally attuned to doing several different things, one of which is to heal themselves. You can tap into this power even more by using this kind of advanced audio-based technology. You can also enhance your memory and bring into effect the psychic powers you have, which already exist. This is a pretty advanced procedure, but it does work.
Hypnosis, too, is another powerful way to develop your mind's power. Many people have used it successfully, for example, to quit smoking. The way it works for this is that they simply went to a trained hypnotist who was able to help them access their subconscious and then 'feed' them suggestions that told them smoking wasn't fun anymore, they didn't crave nicotine anymore, smoking made them feel ill, and so on. Like any kind of subconscious 'training,' the hypnosis doesn't usually work instantly, but it does work as long as it's done by somebody who knows what they're doing. Eventually, after several sessions, smokers do indeed have success and can quit by truly really quashing the desire to smoke because their subconscious has also let go of it. The hypnotist was successful in doing this because they got in touch with the person's subconscious and enabled it to believe that the person in question could quit smoking.
So as you can see, everyone has this type of mind power, but they just have to believe in their abilities. It may not happen overnight, but you can change your life and turn things around if they're not going so well for you. To do this, you have to be able to direct your energies into the universe and know that what comes back to you is what you have manifested. It all starts with your subconscious mind, and only you can harness the mind power you have. How much do you think you have?
Charlie Walbank is a writer for the popular http://www.mindpower-info.com site. You can enjoy the incredible experience of subconscious mind power for yourself and find out the real undisclosed secrets of mind power when you visit here and get 29 Free mp3 audios on DVD.
And by the way, this is something that we all have. We all have the ability to use our mind's power to the best of our ability and outcomes. However, most of us don't because we just don't think we can. Yet, researchers have shown that we only use about 10% of our brainpower. Don't you think that's crazy? Most of us stick with the tried and true, things we only know, and that's what we live with. And that may be why we feel like we're having a lot of trouble. We may think negatively because we don't believe that what we want to have can actually be ours. So what that means is that we continue to attract more negative things instead of more positive things. However, if you take a look at it honestly, you'll know that the life you have in front of you is the one you've thought about and attracted to you.
But here's the simple truth. Reality first happens within your mind. Everything you've gotten to this point has been as a result of how you think. And while it's been said that everyone has some extra sensory skill or power, or that they are 'psychic,' in fact, these people really only practice an ability we have, too, which is using their advanced mind power capabilities. If you want something in life, you have to think that you can have it. And of course, if you think only the bad is going to happen, then that's what you'll end up with, too.
I can hear you asking, 'But what can I do to change things?' And the fact is, you can begin to increase your mind's power by doing several things. First of all, do something called visualization. This very powerful technique can help you focus and develop your current mind power state, so that you can literally 'flip the switch' and learn how to use it -- and learn how to increase it, too.
When you visualize, simply sit down and create pictures and images in your mind's eye. This can help you a manifest these images in reality. First, though, you have to start with your subconscious. The subconscious mind is the most powerful tool you have, and bring what is in your subconscious mind into reality the way nothing else can. However, the drawback to this is that you have to think positive in order to have positive things come to you. Therefore, it's best to 'practice' the way that you want to think and live before you actually try to do this.
One good way to start doing this is to write down everything you want on paper, as though you were telling a story (or if you can't write, doing it as a checklist can be fine, too). Write down the goals you want to achieve, so that you have something to shoot for. Then, create the visions you have around those goals. When you write things down, they're harder to simply dismiss later as so much fantasy and instead become more concrete. Do this several times a day until you begin to 'live' in the reality you eventually want to have -- in your mind's eye.
You can also use affirmations to increase your mind power. Affirmations are simply little, encouraging positive sayings that you can save yourself throughout the day. It can be about anything. For example, if you want to lose 10 pounds, you can say something to the effect of, 'I'm losing the extra weight effortlessly and easily.' As you continue to say this, you may notice that truly, the weight is actually coming off pretty easily. It'll just naturally start to happen. And it doesn't matter if it's something you're not used to it first. If you do it for 28 days, you'll notice that it'll start to become a habit.
There's also another technique you can use to develop your mind's power, called 'entrainment.' Entrainment is simply synchronization of brain waves using different frequencies through audio technology. Our brains are naturally attuned to doing several different things, one of which is to heal themselves. You can tap into this power even more by using this kind of advanced audio-based technology. You can also enhance your memory and bring into effect the psychic powers you have, which already exist. This is a pretty advanced procedure, but it does work.
Hypnosis, too, is another powerful way to develop your mind's power. Many people have used it successfully, for example, to quit smoking. The way it works for this is that they simply went to a trained hypnotist who was able to help them access their subconscious and then 'feed' them suggestions that told them smoking wasn't fun anymore, they didn't crave nicotine anymore, smoking made them feel ill, and so on. Like any kind of subconscious 'training,' the hypnosis doesn't usually work instantly, but it does work as long as it's done by somebody who knows what they're doing. Eventually, after several sessions, smokers do indeed have success and can quit by truly really quashing the desire to smoke because their subconscious has also let go of it. The hypnotist was successful in doing this because they got in touch with the person's subconscious and enabled it to believe that the person in question could quit smoking.
So as you can see, everyone has this type of mind power, but they just have to believe in their abilities. It may not happen overnight, but you can change your life and turn things around if they're not going so well for you. To do this, you have to be able to direct your energies into the universe and know that what comes back to you is what you have manifested. It all starts with your subconscious mind, and only you can harness the mind power you have. How much do you think you have?
Charlie Walbank is a writer for the popular http://www.mindpower-info.com site. You can enjoy the incredible experience of subconscious mind power for yourself and find out the real undisclosed secrets of mind power when you visit here and get 29 Free mp3 audios on DVD.
Sunday, 6 December 2009
Personal Development: A Goal to Reach For!
In our world of time crunches, we manage to find time to notice our children's life patterns, the growing patterns of our plants and even the schedule and pattern of our next door neighbors, but we can not seem to find the time to notice our own personal patterns. Our personal development does not stop because we grow older. On the contrary, it should grow and expand as we become more wise.
Positivity is key. The more positive we are as people, the more we will be able to adapt our lives to the situations that present themselves. It is important to notice all of the blessings around us and smile at every chance throughout the day. That smile can bring joy to the heart and hep to retrain the mind that happiness is natural and it is a healthy way to start every day.
Goal setting is important for two reasons. One is if you write a goal on paper you are more likely to remember it and work toward it. If you just let it cross your mind you may not remember to work on it later. Every small goal you accomplish moves you forward and enriches your life. The other reason goal setting is so important is that you can SEE it when it's done and acknowledge your achievement. Recognizing your successes and congratulating yourself motivates you to reach for more.
Recognizing you. A person who is self aware is a person who understands how life can be changed for the better. Self awareness is almost like an open window just screaming for you to look in and notice the areas that need improvement.
Take back that time. Everyone on earth needs time management in order to develop beyond what they are today. Time management skills are one of the few personal development tools that are universal and are needed by all.
Time management leads us to balance. It is constant work to maintain balance between career and home, work and play, spouse and parent, etc. Plan more. Allow time for each role you play in life and stick to it.
Returning home. When you feel as though you have not focused enough on yourself, eating right, exercise and learning to treat yourself can mean all the world. These three parts of personal development will have the largest impact on YOU!
It is not too late to change some bad habits and implement some good ones on our journey of personal development. Our happiness, and the success and happiness of those who need us, is dependent upon it.
About The Author: Elliott Roberts is a writer at Becomng, a Self Improvement blog, covering topics ranging from Productivity to Meditation, and more. Visit Becomng, and change your life forever!
Positivity is key. The more positive we are as people, the more we will be able to adapt our lives to the situations that present themselves. It is important to notice all of the blessings around us and smile at every chance throughout the day. That smile can bring joy to the heart and hep to retrain the mind that happiness is natural and it is a healthy way to start every day.
Goal setting is important for two reasons. One is if you write a goal on paper you are more likely to remember it and work toward it. If you just let it cross your mind you may not remember to work on it later. Every small goal you accomplish moves you forward and enriches your life. The other reason goal setting is so important is that you can SEE it when it's done and acknowledge your achievement. Recognizing your successes and congratulating yourself motivates you to reach for more.
Recognizing you. A person who is self aware is a person who understands how life can be changed for the better. Self awareness is almost like an open window just screaming for you to look in and notice the areas that need improvement.
Take back that time. Everyone on earth needs time management in order to develop beyond what they are today. Time management skills are one of the few personal development tools that are universal and are needed by all.
Time management leads us to balance. It is constant work to maintain balance between career and home, work and play, spouse and parent, etc. Plan more. Allow time for each role you play in life and stick to it.
Returning home. When you feel as though you have not focused enough on yourself, eating right, exercise and learning to treat yourself can mean all the world. These three parts of personal development will have the largest impact on YOU!
It is not too late to change some bad habits and implement some good ones on our journey of personal development. Our happiness, and the success and happiness of those who need us, is dependent upon it.
About The Author: Elliott Roberts is a writer at Becomng, a Self Improvement blog, covering topics ranging from Productivity to Meditation, and more. Visit Becomng, and change your life forever!
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
"Don't Go Through Life, Grow Through Life-" Eric Butterworth.
Going through life is easy. It may not be much fun or help you to find fulfilment, but the path of least resistance is never hard to take. But where will it lead you? Bringing out your best, developing your potential, living your best life...need effort and perseverance.
Some people start well. Projects, businesses, ideas, schemes, they brim with creative energy and enthusiasm. You know the type. All excited about the latest and greatest thing. Everything they start is going to be the answer. This time it will be different.
But when you meet them again a few weeks later, the project has ground to a halt. "Oh that," they say when you mention it. "That was all right, but wait till you hear about this!" and off they go.
After a while, their friends become a little jaded. They have heard enough about the next new thing. They want to hear that the project has grown, something solid is happening,things are progressing.
Life is not just about sowing seeds. Remember that famous parable? Scattering seeds all over the place may look very creative. But if the seed does not take root and grow, then the sower has wasted his time and is just "going" through life. It is important to take one's personal development seriously,and make choices about where and how to focus the power of attention. So practice persevering, seeing things through, completing tasks in spite of distractions. That is the way of growth, and will attract the great results you desire.
Some people start well. Projects, businesses, ideas, schemes, they brim with creative energy and enthusiasm. You know the type. All excited about the latest and greatest thing. Everything they start is going to be the answer. This time it will be different.
But when you meet them again a few weeks later, the project has ground to a halt. "Oh that," they say when you mention it. "That was all right, but wait till you hear about this!" and off they go.
After a while, their friends become a little jaded. They have heard enough about the next new thing. They want to hear that the project has grown, something solid is happening,things are progressing.
Life is not just about sowing seeds. Remember that famous parable? Scattering seeds all over the place may look very creative. But if the seed does not take root and grow, then the sower has wasted his time and is just "going" through life. It is important to take one's personal development seriously,and make choices about where and how to focus the power of attention. So practice persevering, seeing things through, completing tasks in spite of distractions. That is the way of growth, and will attract the great results you desire.
Monday, 30 November 2009
Power Visualization Can Create the Body of Your Dreams
Author: Ellen Valentine
In 1988 I heard Dr. Dennis Waitley say, If you go there in the mind, youll go there in the body every time. He followed that with a story about Olympic champions that visualized themselves pole vaulting or walking the balance bar perfectly before they ever walked out on the floor to compete. When their pulse and respiration were monitored these increased the same as they would if they were actually performing physically. Their body went along with their mind. How can that help us create the body we want?
Think of it, powerful visualizations create real results in the body. So, if we see ourselves as less than, as overweight, having scrawny legs, no breasts, no waist line, unhealthy, etc; then, that is what we continue to create day after day. To create the new you, see yourself as what you want to feel and look like in the body, make it real, create a sentient rich picture that could make you cry for joy and appreciation. Be in the great new body NOW.
Jack Canfield is a mentor and friend. In his book, The Success Principles he recommends using the time before sleep and the time before getting out of bed in the morning as prime creation times. Go over goals, recreate things from your day that could have had a better outcome, put yourself in that new car or home or job or new business. Give yourself the body you'd love to have. If you're a new mother, see all the baby weight gone and yourself in a new bikini the way you want to look. If you're a body builder, see yourself rippled and in the greatest physical shape of your life. The Success Principles is a great book, a must have for deciding upon and creating the life you want to have.
Without gratitude things will not only stay the same, they will seem to get worse. Begin now to appreciate every tiny thing you can imagine about Being You. If the list seems small, make it up until it feels so sentient rich you are actually feeling better about yourself. This entire process of re-creation depends on the recognition of the power of the unconscious mind. If you were told repeatedly that you were too skinny or fat or any other message when you were small, your subconscious mind, that rudder of your ship, took it as a command. It accepts messages as real when we are small. If you believed those messages then, you can take your power back right now and reprogram for the life and the body you desire now.
Imagine what it would FEEL like to be different, better in some way, better to you that is. Allow the feeling of the new you to wash over you. Let go of self-doubt, blame, shame or shoulds and just receive what your mind is conceiving. Implement new and healthy habits that will make concrete your decisions in the world of form. Detach from the outcome and begin now to enjoy the new you. Decide what you want and create it now.
Create the body of your dreams and make it happen. Brain Science supports your right to create on every level; and Master Teachers all over the planet are proving it is so.
Think of it, powerful visualizations create real results in the body. So, if we see ourselves as less than, as overweight, having scrawny legs, no breasts, no waist line, unhealthy, etc; then, that is what we continue to create day after day. To create the new you, see yourself as what you want to feel and look like in the body, make it real, create a sentient rich picture that could make you cry for joy and appreciation. Be in the great new body NOW.
Jack Canfield is a mentor and friend. In his book, The Success Principles he recommends using the time before sleep and the time before getting out of bed in the morning as prime creation times. Go over goals, recreate things from your day that could have had a better outcome, put yourself in that new car or home or job or new business. Give yourself the body you'd love to have. If you're a new mother, see all the baby weight gone and yourself in a new bikini the way you want to look. If you're a body builder, see yourself rippled and in the greatest physical shape of your life. The Success Principles is a great book, a must have for deciding upon and creating the life you want to have.
Without gratitude things will not only stay the same, they will seem to get worse. Begin now to appreciate every tiny thing you can imagine about Being You. If the list seems small, make it up until it feels so sentient rich you are actually feeling better about yourself. This entire process of re-creation depends on the recognition of the power of the unconscious mind. If you were told repeatedly that you were too skinny or fat or any other message when you were small, your subconscious mind, that rudder of your ship, took it as a command. It accepts messages as real when we are small. If you believed those messages then, you can take your power back right now and reprogram for the life and the body you desire now.
Imagine what it would FEEL like to be different, better in some way, better to you that is. Allow the feeling of the new you to wash over you. Let go of self-doubt, blame, shame or shoulds and just receive what your mind is conceiving. Implement new and healthy habits that will make concrete your decisions in the world of form. Detach from the outcome and begin now to enjoy the new you. Decide what you want and create it now.
Create the body of your dreams and make it happen. Brain Science supports your right to create on every level; and Master Teachers all over the planet are proving it is so.
Ellen Valentine is a Nutritional Counselor and Whole Life Coach. Ellen is dedicated to helping others understand their greatness. Trendy tops for men, women and children. and Organic and Original Baby Nursery Bedding
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Saturday, 28 November 2009
Adventures in the Leaves
Author: Michael Angier
Adventures in the Leaves
The other day, my wife Dawn and I did what many fall tourists in New England do. We took a leisurely drive around Vermont and watched the chlorophyll drain out of the leaves. The reds, yellows and oranges in early October are truly something to behold, and we enjoyed ourselves immensely: talking, laughing and oohing and aahing our way around a good section of what we call the "Northeast Kingdom."
If you flattened out all the hills and mountains, Vermont would be a fairly good-sized state. But since it's hardly flat, it ranks down with the smallest of the fifty. Nonetheless, there are myriad back roads-roads that are easy to find, but not always so easy to find your way out of. Now I have a fairly keen sense of direction, and I almost always knew-at least roughly-where we were. Regardless, there were a number of times that our exact location was unknown until we emerged onto a road or scene that was more familiar. It was fun.
It occurred to me that in life, even though it's important to a plan as to where we're going and equally important to have a sense of where we are, if we know exactly where we're going, and precisely what's going to happen, there's no drama-no adventure.
In our trek around the highways and bi-ways of northern Vermont, we were willing to be a little lost because it added to the wonder of the experience. The objective was clear, but the plan was flexible. In other words, "set your goals in concrete and your plans in sand."
I fear that too many people-myself included-have our lives so well scheduled and so tightly controlled, that we forsake some of the spontaneous things that could add more spice, adventure and enjoyment. As I look back over my life, many of the things I labeled catastrophes turned out to be the proverbial blessing in disguise. Many of the things I initially looked upon as detours and delays added immeasurable quality to the journey.
I'm reminded of the story of the man who was discouraged and prayed that life would be easier and that he could win in every endeavor. One day, he was visited by an angel and his prayers were answered. Everything he touched turned to gold. No matter what he tried, it worked. Everything he wanted, he received-with no struggle and no fear of the end result. But, alas, he found himself miserable. Life was too predictable-like watching a taped football game to which you already know the outcome, it lacks excitement.
In a short while, the man prayed again-this time to be relieved of his wish. A second time he was visited by the angel, and the man said he would rather go to hell than continue with this "curse." The angel replied, "My son, hell is where you've been since we were last together."
We need to welcome the challenges and unknowns that come our way. They're what make us stronger and build our character. They are what provide the drama-the comedies and the tragedies-of our lives.
If you flattened out all the hills and mountains, Vermont would be a fairly good-sized state. But since it's hardly flat, it ranks down with the smallest of the fifty. Nonetheless, there are myriad back roads-roads that are easy to find, but not always so easy to find your way out of. Now I have a fairly keen sense of direction, and I almost always knew-at least roughly-where we were. Regardless, there were a number of times that our exact location was unknown until we emerged onto a road or scene that was more familiar. It was fun.
It occurred to me that in life, even though it's important to a plan as to where we're going and equally important to have a sense of where we are, if we know exactly where we're going, and precisely what's going to happen, there's no drama-no adventure.
In our trek around the highways and bi-ways of northern Vermont, we were willing to be a little lost because it added to the wonder of the experience. The objective was clear, but the plan was flexible. In other words, "set your goals in concrete and your plans in sand."
I fear that too many people-myself included-have our lives so well scheduled and so tightly controlled, that we forsake some of the spontaneous things that could add more spice, adventure and enjoyment. As I look back over my life, many of the things I labeled catastrophes turned out to be the proverbial blessing in disguise. Many of the things I initially looked upon as detours and delays added immeasurable quality to the journey.
I'm reminded of the story of the man who was discouraged and prayed that life would be easier and that he could win in every endeavor. One day, he was visited by an angel and his prayers were answered. Everything he touched turned to gold. No matter what he tried, it worked. Everything he wanted, he received-with no struggle and no fear of the end result. But, alas, he found himself miserable. Life was too predictable-like watching a taped football game to which you already know the outcome, it lacks excitement.
In a short while, the man prayed again-this time to be relieved of his wish. A second time he was visited by the angel, and the man said he would rather go to hell than continue with this "curse." The angel replied, "My son, hell is where you've been since we were last together."
We need to welcome the challenges and unknowns that come our way. They're what make us stronger and build our character. They are what provide the drama-the comedies and the tragedies-of our lives.
Michael Angier is founder and CIO (Chief Inspiration Officer) of SuccessNet.org and helps people and businesses grow and prosper. By being a Diamond Club Member of SuccessNet you can expect to reach new heights of achievement by creating the support structure you need to accomplish your objectives. SuccessNet Diamonds SuccessNet.org
Quotation
Are there not, dear Michal,
Two points in the adventure of the diver,—
One, when a beggar he prepares to plunge;
One, when a prince he rises with his pearl?
Festus, I plunge.
Two points in the adventure of the diver,—
One, when a beggar he prepares to plunge;
One, when a prince he rises with his pearl?
Festus, I plunge.
Robert Browning Paracelsus Part 1.
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